Thursday, March 31, 2005

The Candy Incident

I told her that there was only one chocolate left when there was really two. Later there was only one.
Is she embezzling chocolate from me?

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Learning Mantra

My son is not a circus animal.
I must stop trying to get him to show off his newly learned skills.

My son is not a circus animal.
My son is not a circus animal.
My son is not a circus animal.
My son is not ....

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Mquest on Fashion

The skinny girl with Ugg boots.
So out of proportion.
Lollipops should not wear clown shoes.


If I could get back all the money I have spent on pizza I would reinvest.

Sunday, March 27, 2005

California Stop

The bright red stop sign stands proudly on the corner. The motorists glide past it never stopping.

Lone Wolf

He walk away from the liquor store. Battered shoes and torn jeans.
Who is he trying to fool with his paper bag?

Saturday, March 26, 2005

Breaking news Terri Schiavo-- can speak – but can she roll over and play dead?

Now her parents are claiming that she can speak. Who knew that her family would turn their daughter and our elected officials into a group of circus animals. It is amazing that a group of elected officials could watch a few minutes of a video tape and become instantaneously become doctors. To bad the “party of life” decided to ignore the court system and listen to a pair of loony parents. Most of America is smart enough to see that this publicity stunt gone wrong. Her parents are starting to hear voices while a select few think we should ignore years of medical advice and years of court rulings. I will leave the whole “party of life” joke for others to Blog about.

If this keeps up Terri will be a canonized saint by Easter Sunday.

U.S. Troops Tortured Iraqis in Mosul, Documents Show

American soldiers tortured Iraqi prisoners at a military base in Mosul but nobody was court martialed over the abuse, U.S. army documents say. (SNIP) One prisoner died in December 2003 after four days of repeatedly having to do physical exercises as a punishment, according to the documents, obtained by the American Civil Liberties Union

To bad “the right to life party” is so busy in Florida trying to keep a Vegetable alive.

Left-Right Coalition Rises to Oppose USA Patriot Act Provisions

It is about time.

Woman Kills Herself So Blind Sons Can See

Doctors in the southern city of Chennai say Kumar's condition cannot be helped with a cornea transplant and also suspect his elder brother does not have a cornea defect.
"We had told the family earlier itself that a corneal transplant was not needed for the younger son," the Express quoted hospital official G. Seethalakshmi saying.
The family is insisting Tamizhselvi's corneas can only be used for her sons and no one else.

Human stupidity. The spice of life.

Administration kept mum about unapproved modified corn sold

They keep quiet about a lot of stuff.

Friday, March 25, 2005


He is franticly searching the store for a bouquet of flowers. I think he should shave and shower before he tries to make amends.

Thursday, March 24, 2005


The car sits abandoned covered in a layer of dust. Fliers bulging from under the windshield wipers. Why did they even bother to place the parking ticket on top of the fliers?

Big steps:

we went to an open house at one of the many preschools in the area. We are not planning sending Mquest Jr to preschool until next fall but apparently it is open house season in the world of preschools.
A few notes:
The parking sucked but were told it was not a problem because the classes all start at different times. Not sure I believe them.

Nice playground lined with a bed of Heliotropes. I have always been under the impression that they are a poisonous plant.

10-12 children per classes

Thomas train set- Mquest JR found it quickly. But, Preschool should be about something other than Thomas the tank engine and I am sure that is what he will focus on.

Nice teachers and staff. But, I am sure that they were all on their best behavior.
Nice big playground fenced in but tons of doorways for the children to open and escape from

two different classes for different age preschool students

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Blog Roll across the land-

A couple of people have asked about about my short observations. I enjoy putting them down on paper and have found a few other people in Blog land that do similar things with short vignette.

Guru's Life Watch has short observations that are always good. Guru is very economical with his words.

Vali's Views Mostly fictional but, great wit. Often humorous. Sometimes terrifying. Always good.

I think I want to be a comedian-- Like the name states this is all about trying to come up with comedic works. I really enjoy his short work. Lately he has gotten into longer pieces. Look back to the beginning of February For some of his funny stuff.

Any others out there? What published writers fall into this category?
Update Link Fixed

Pa. Inmate Limited in Clover Quest

Kaminski, serving time for crimes including burglary and shooting at a police officer, has collected a world record 72,927 four-leaf clovers since 1995. He found all of them on the grounds of various Pennsylvania prisons.
Who said prison life was boring?

Cathedral Seeks Truth Behind Da Vinci Code

I hate to break it to them, but, The Da Vinci Code is fiction. And by many accounts poorly written fiction.

Tuesday, March 22, 2005


The beautiful girl sits against the cool wall. Her long dark hair reflecting the light. A warm California breeze makes her hair sway in a mesmerizing way.
On her lap sits a shiny skinny laptop. She is furiously typing oblivious to my stare. She smiles at her work
I wish I had a laptop.

Monday, March 21, 2005


He is showing everyone his new tattoo. The black ink stands boldly on his white skin. I ask him what made him choose the Eye of Horus for a tattoo.

His reply: “Is that what it is? It just looked good on the wall."

Word from our sponsors

Question Authority.
It makes the brain stronger.

Sunday, March 20, 2005

Seeds of change

One of these days I am going to throw a bunch of seeds out my car window and make this boring stretch of road more bearable.

Verb pondering

Sometimes I fear that I am in danger of becoming a verb. Other times I think I should be the verb. Any ideas?

Saturday, March 19, 2005

Letter to Blogger 6

Dear Blogger-

How much longer will you hide your faults from your parent company. Does Google know about the severe problems your company has keeping this product working? Even Google products in Beta perform better than this.

I keep telling myself that I should not complain because this is a free product. I keep thinking I am probability getting the service that I paid for. (Nothing) Then I take a look at the rest of the Google empire and see that everything is is free and works great all the time.

Dear Blogger team. The heads will roll as soon as your parent company takes a look at what you are doing to their brand name. Better work fast.

One last thing-- Thanks for keeping this product free.


Letter to Blogger 5

Dear Blogger team-

At this page: (Link) I am told that the Stats collection, Profile, Recent post page has been temporarily turned off. Could we please define the word “temporarily”? November 6th was a long time ago.

You have set this page as a default page for people to enter my Blog from comments left on other blogs. If you plan on keeping this back door entry to my Blog could you at least make an attempt to fix this?

I think it is time for you to mow the lawn, paint the house and improve the curb appeal.


Letter to Blogger 4

Dear Blogger-
Just a quick comment. Your Comment function has sucked as of late.

Letter to Blogger 3

Dear Blogger-
If I had paid for this free service I would of filled a complaint with the Better Business Bureau by now.

Letter to Blogger 2

Dear Blogger-

Is it a 9 to 5 job at Blogger? If not perhaps you should check the surveillance cameras from last night and see if the night staff brought a keg of beer to work last


Letter to Google 1

Dear Google-
Have you looked at Blogger lately. You might want to spread some of your new found wealth around a bit. Blogger is currently a blemish on your brand name. Blogger has great potential for you company. Work with it. develop it. Fix it. The other big search/portal company's are all getting ready to throw down the gauntlet try to take away market share.


Letter to Blogger 1

Dear Blogger-
At the moment I am posting a comment on someones Blog. That should give me a few free moments to make a cup of coffee, wait for it to cool, and write a quick note to you. All while I wait for your service to post the comment. Guess what I am still waiting. Should I make another cup of coffee while I wait? I think I will. . . . I am back. The coffee is still to hot to drink. Oh wait- It posted. I guess I will leave you now.


Friday, March 18, 2005

Leader of the pack

The traffic moves along at the speed limit. Block after block. There is a police car at the front of the line. Everyone is afraid to speed up and pass. I doubt Mr. policeman would notice. He is preoccupied with his cell phone.

Terry Schiavo

Today they unplugged the tube from Terry Schiavo. Much has been said in the press about her. I just hope she dies quickly so I do not have to hear any more about her.
(If it ever come to such a thing in my life please unplug me)

Terry Schiavo

Today they unplugged the tube from Terry Schiavo. Much has been said in the press about her. I just hope she dies quickly so I do not have to hear any more about her.
(If it ever come to such a thing in my life please unplug me)

Thursday, March 17, 2005


The three teens ride by on their skateboards. Two are dressed in the uniform of disenfranchised youth. Torn tennis shoes, black pants, black shirts with the crass logo. The third is dressed in pink. Pink shoes, pink shirt, and pink tights. Yes, tights!! Now that is hardcore.

(or Mom found a bag of weed in his backpack and is punishing him)

Fear and ignorance breeds hate and intolerance

Now they have began a war against cartoon characters?

What next? A way against cartoon editorials?

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

The Wait

He sits in his car sipping his coffee and revving his engine. He impatiently waits for the light to change. A horn blows. I inch forward. Thinking the light has changed he floors the gas. Realizing his error, He hits the brakes. I wonder how the hot coffee feels on his crotch.

Monday, March 14, 2005

Jerrys kids

I watch her from across the parking lot. She is yelling at her children. It is a Jerry Springer world and she is raising Jerry Springer youth

Sunday, March 13, 2005

Things in the night

3:45 am-- blurry eyed and I work the coffee pump at the gas station. Four college girls in pajamas stare wide eyed at the shelf that sells toilet paper.
Their fuzzy slippers shuffling against the hard floor. The girl with the large bear claw slippers mutters” 7 dollars for 4 rolls.”
I guess it pays to be prepared for emergencies.

Friday, March 11, 2005

The bug on the window at the stop light

She drives her bright yellow bug. She is trying to relive her youth. The sticker on the side mirrors says objects may appear closer than they really are. Sadly, her car will not bring back her youth.

Thursday, March 10, 2005

Sound, lights and the price.

The tow truck races by. The alarm on the car screams as the lights flash into the night Someone stopped paying their bills.

Blast from the past without mouthwash

phrase I have not heard lately: “Up your nose with a rubber hose.”

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Stupid Book

The book clearly says that a child does not like to sit in his own urine. The book says that I need to use this to my advantage while potty training a child. What the book does not know is that my child does not mind being wet.

Stupid book.

Not fade away:

I refuse to grow up. My head still turns when I hear a siren.


From a distance I hear the stuck horn blaring through the night. Prior to the horn there was the sound of skidding tires and a large thump.


Today while sitting at the stoplight I heard a familiar sound. 3 chord rock and roll with a distinctive edge came blaring from the car to the left of me. I turned toward the car and saw a girl rocking out and singing along to:
I'm a Gypsy prince
Covered with diamonds and jewels
But then my lover exposes me
I know I'm just a damn fool

It is not often I hear my theme song played outside my house.

Monday, March 07, 2005

I guess we will have to dump my next paycheck into the therapy jar

The other day my wife decided to help my son along with his potty training by showing him where poop goes. She took him and his soiled diaper into the bathroom and with great ceremony dumped the poop into the toilet and with much fun, song, and dance they flushed the toilet.

Let us pause for a second. She found this idea in a potty training book and it made sense as a great way to introduce him to the toilet and the process of what to do when using the toilet.

What happened? What went so terribly wrong that now I need to drop my paycheck into the therapy jar?

When they flushed the toilet the flush handle got stuck and the water continued to run. At the same time the toilet became plugged and started to overflow. This cause much panic, yelling, and confusion. Now I have to start saving money for the future therapy sessions.

In all reality, I think he forgot about the whole thing a few seconds after it happened and the only person truly traumatized by this unfortunate event is my wife and the hallway carpet that got soaked.

Note: the handle still gets stuck when we flush

The poop training

Dr. Phil says you can potty train a child in three days. I wonder how many children died under his care before he found one that learned in three days.

Saturday, March 05, 2005

The future trophy wife #1

They stand in their group each one on their cell phone. They are practicing the art of emotional distance

My digital camera

I have a cheap point and click digital camera. It is slow and the action is gone before the picture is taken. It takes several seconds for the camera to be ready for the next picture.

A child moves to fast for its electric circuits to handle. I am frustrated every time I use it. Like most digital cameras the pictures never make it to a printed form. For this reason-- sometimes I am glad that I hate it.

Thursday, March 03, 2005

Lost Dog

The torn and faded sign hangs from the light poll. Looking at the picture I wonder why they would want that dog back. Another picture of a different dog hangs below it. The picture is a blob of ink. A cheap crappy xerox job. I guess they are only going through the motions of finding their dog.
I hope it has found a good home.

A Close One

Her pants cling tightly to her waist. They hang low. I am impressed with her ability to shave.

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Endless Summers from long ago

Sometimes moments and events are stuck in time. Time and space travel foreword but the sights and sounds remain in the past where we left them.

Last night I was able to make contact with an old friend. I had not physically seen him in about ten years. From mutual friends I had been able to keep up on the basics of his life and fragments of his antics from time to time.

When last we talked he had just gotten over his first brush with MS. He was healthy in remission and was about to change his life drastically and start living it to the fullest. He broke up with his long time girlfriend joined a band and moved up to San Fransisco. After that I only heard about him in passing. Last night I received an email from him detailing his decline in health. The MS has come back with a vengeance. He has limited mobility in his right arm and his left arm is useless.. He is suffering from optic nerve damage that has caused bad double vision and is undergoing Chemotherapy.

I am not sure why he is undergoing chemotherapy for MS but, it is not helping. In fact his treatments are not helping and the future does not look bright.

Going back to my first two sentences I still remember him as he was 10 years ago. Now it is 10 years later and life continues toward what we knew would happen. The MS returned and his 10 years of freedom are quickly coming to a halt. I have no real idea of how he spent the last 10 years. But, I can still remember the endless summer of youth and what his goals were at that point.

The last thing I remember him saying was “we are all here to go”.

Tuesday, March 01, 2005


He sits at the stop light alone in his car yelling at the windshield.
If all the world is a stage and we are merely players.
He is the village idiot.

Passive aggressive Fate:

While you were out Loki called with the winning numbers.
Charon must be at the helm.